Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Respect is a two way street, it must always be given to be received. Right?
It may take time, but all relationships are long roads with many obstacles that need to be overcome.
She is one. I need to stick with it, hang in there, and good luck to me.
(Type here to enter new subject below...)

He's like a best friend, only more.
And he knows me better than anyone else.
He makes me happier than ever, and I'm a better person because of him.
And even though I'm changed now, he knew me before, and still accepted and loved me through everything.
No matter what happens, he'll always love me. And I'll always love him.
Nothing can change that. We both hold special places in each others hearts never to be forgotten.
He spends his time with me, and I love that more than anything.
He is letting me have a portion of his time that he will never get back in his life.
He makes my laugh stronger, and real.
I start to pick up simple phrases and little habits because over time, we've adapted to each other.
He helps me build memories of a lifetime, I'll forever be grateful.
I appreciate everything he's ever done for me, and there's no way I'll ever be able to show him fully.
I'm sarcastic and have a smart a attitude sometimes, but he puts up with it.
They say to never go back to an old love, because it's like reading a book over again when you already know how it ends.
False, very very false. I've realized everyone makes mistakes, and no relationship is perfect.
You take those past mistakes, and you learn from them. The only real mistake is not learning from a past one.
We apply them to our lives together as examples and such, and we've become closer.
I'm so thankful to have him in my life. Really. I don't know what I'd do without this lover, fighter, and best friend.
I love you.
By the way Shawn, I'm wearing the smile you gave me <3

This boy, right here, is what dreams are made of.

Sunday, March 20, 2011


Ah, the sweet sweet aroma of Shawn being home.
What was that, four days? That's pathetic.
And to think he's leaving for two years in about six months.
What am I going to do with my life? My mind?
You can probably look forward to twenty posts a day on this thing.

This picture is retarded of me.
But look how happy we are!
He makes me so happy.
I r can has so lucky.
Like really.
I love everything about this boy.
Man, he's eighteen.
Geez. I'm eighteen in six months.
Waaaa. Life is going by so fast!
I love the way we hold hands under the desks at school, passing cute notes saying 'I love you' sneaking kisses when the teacher turns around, whispering inside jokes just to hear laughter from one another.

Friday, March 18, 2011

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that, you too, can become something great.
When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition, it is important with whom you regulatly associate.
Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose-filled lives.
Similarly be that kind of a friend for your friends." -The Great Mark Twain.

I hung out with a long lost friend yesterday, oh boy I do love her. I'm so glad I have such great friends in my life that keep me on my toes and laughing til my abs hurt. That's where I get my six pack. My friends.
I hung out with new people yesterday, and it was such an adventure. I forgot that feeling.
I was actually somewhat nervous, weird eh? I just be myself. And sometimes that's not enough for some people. But if not, they aren't my friends. And I'm not theirs. No biggy.
It was lots of fun to go to walmart, the dreaded place I hate, and actually have some fun. It was around 11:30pm anyways, so it was pretty empty. We went in the baby section, found a place on the ground and played giggle belly. I've never laughed so hard.

This picture makes me look like a handicap with my wrist all weird, Tarin and Makenzie look like they're mad at each other, and you can't even see Kyle. Haha, we all had tons of fun.

-Never say goodbye, 
because saying goodbye
means going away 
and going away 
means forgetting.-

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


We all have those little things that people do that  
drives us CRAZY. 
And I feel like today was one of those days, where everything that drove me nuts, shined on through.
It didn't make it any better that I had to take a short trip to the nearest Wal-Mart. I hate that zoo.
First, I'll name some pet peeves. Let's see if you partake in any of these.

Invading space. Especially when a person is talking to you, they keep getting closer and closer, and they have awful smelling breath. Yes, lady at Wal-Mart I'm talking to you. Or when you're in line at a store, oh I don't know, maybe Wal-Mart also? And the people behind you stand too close that if you turn your head your hair hits them in the face. And no, I'm not sorry lady. 
People who are loud.  Their every movement is loud. Seriously. When they open and close a cabinet... It's loud. When they walk... It's loud. When they talk... It's loud. 
Keeping shoes on while doing a long activity. If we're hanging out, and you have your shoes on still, I'm gonna freak. What? Are you gonna hurry and make an escape? This drives me nuts. Just take them off and get comfy, who cares if your feet stink. It's usually watching a movie or something that takes a while that drives me crazy. Can't focus on anything but their shoes matted onto their feet. 
People who drive SO SLOW. I cannot stand it. It's like some peoples speedometers can't go more than 25 MPH. Yes, lady in the green car that drives around here, your car can go more than 18 MPH. You should try it out. 
Bad customer service. I bust my butt at both of my jobs to make customers happy, and what do I get in return? Usually a cranky pissed off old man. A smile will do, Mr. And it'll make you feel better too. 
People who mumble. I'm only going to ask you what you said once, so if I have to repeat myself you're not getting an answer. Chelsey.
Substitute teachers who don't know JACK about the class they're subbing for. I go to math class to learn some math, since I suck at it, and when you have a sub every freaking day of your life who doesn't know how to do anything, and just sits there in the swiveling chair, with her high top converse talking about how great an experience it was to go on the Trek with her ward last year. Really? Is that was mx+b equals? 
Beating around the bush. If you want to say something, please, it'll save time and will just be flat out better if you just say it without starting your sentence with "well......" and "I would but......" Because I'm only asking for your benefit, usually not mine. 
Your, You're, There, Their, and They're. They all have their own meanings. LEARN THEM. 
People who have no idea you can remove red eye in photos. I mean, go for it, if you like looking like a daemon in your photos. It's really not too attractive. 
Money. It has to be in ascending order or I'll go bizzerk. 
No sense of humor. Yes, I just made a joke, and it is okay for you to laugh at it. Oh? You don't think it's funny? Screw you, and your awful sense of humor!

I got curious of others pet peeves, and I just had to share this one with you.
It warns ladies not to read it, so I just had to, right? Right.

"Fellas, wtf is with the wiping of boggers on bathroom stalls?
Holy cats is that nasty. Use some tissue paper.
And while we're on it, how effing hard is it to aim right?
I'm so tired of having to stradle the overflowing banks of Lake Urine below the urinal.
Point, shoot, shake.
No dribbling over the side."

HAHAHAHAHA. I'm glad I can share. Feel free to share also.

nom nom nom.

I had my very first blueberry two days ago... That was quite the experience.
As I sat in the pink chair during lunch at preschool, I watched as my mom raised each blue sphere to her lips, and munched on them once they were inside her mouth.
"I've never had a blueberry," I confessed. My moms eyes shifted to mine.
"You've never had a blueberry?" She said as bringing the zip lock bag closer to my arm resting on the table. "Have one, then. Nothing to lose."
I then reached into the bag, and brought a blueberry into the center of my palm while examining the outside. What an odd looking fruit.
The circle at the top of the blueberry made me worry, and the texture looked to intense.
"Taylor, just eat it, you'll like it."
I felt the blueberry land on my tongue as the palm of my hand touched my lips.
I ate it, and you know what? I liked it. I ate the rest of the half filled zip lock bag.
Mom was right (once again), and I love new experiences.
You'll never guess what I'm eating right now for an after school snack...? Nom nom nom.

Saturday, March 12, 2011


The Law of Attraction in its simplest form.
Your mind is a magnet, and depending on what you're thinking, 
good or bad,
your reality will create it in the real world.


and so the mockingbird flew through with spring on it's back.
I'm so merciful
I've been waiting so long for those words to come out.
so thanks for helping me find the worlds I couldn't find on my own, mockingbird.

As I sit in my room, I think of miles of memories that I've experienced in my life.
I've put much thought into it, and came to the conclusion, I am one lucky lady. 
From all of the wonderful family members I am surrounded by, and my many meaningful friends.
I'm so lucky for my life. 
Through the illnesses, many deaths, certain things that are better off unknown that I know now, things I wish I hadn't said, asked, saw, heard, or felt. I still wouldn't change it for another one.
I miss my friends who have crossed over, but it always soothes my soul knowing they're really not that far.
All we can do in this crazy life is keep our heads level, and take a smile.
A smile is so contagious and travels through thousands of people.
When I smile at someone, and they smile back, there's no greater feeling.
I made that happen. I think, as their lips curve upward.

No matter what's happened in your life, live it forward and be happy.
The biggest mistake anyone can make is not learning from previous ones.
This is my life, and it's frightening how time can go by so fast.
Seventeen years of my life are gone. And I'll never get them back.
You don't even notice when you wake up in the morning, that one day is behind you.
Even though you can't help that, you can help how you spend the next day.
Spring = present.
I'll be heading over soon.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

corrine's day.

This consists of the events that took place during our day today.
1. Corrine woke me up from her laughing this morning, of course. She is so amused with our pets, they make her smile and so happy. I love it.
2. She got her hair trimmed, her beautiful long luscious locks of hair. She is a spitting image of me when I was her age, except I was around six or so when I had my long hair.
3.  We painted my grandmas toenails while she was getting her hair done today also. Corrine suddenly got interested, and wanted to help me with it. So of course, I let her, and had to take a picture. She HATES girly things! She refused when I asked if I could paint hers. Sigh. Oh well, worth a shot, right?
4. We ate lunch, and for dessert we made cookies! Chunky peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies. She claims that they are, and I quote 
"They are the best in all of Springville, in all of weber, in all of Utah, in all of the US, in all of the world, in all of the space, in all of the galaxy. See? It keeps getting bigger because they're so good."
5. She was exhausted and took a nap on my dogs bed and woke up with frank cuddling next to her. He's so sweet. She came over to me and told me she woke her up by licking her face and fighting with Graycie. 
Of course.
6. She decided to play with my old old Spongebob clock and wanted to set the time, so she set it to 3:11. 
I didn't even realize it was that time when she set it. ARRRRRRRG.

I enjoy Corrine's company so much, she is so much fun and just everything she does reminds me of me when I was little. I love her so much, and I just wish that she could forever be ours. Oh well, in our hearts she is!
Love you Uncle Nathan! <3

blood draw.

I crawled up on the thin paper covered seat. I heard the paper crinkle and rip under my jeans as I lowered myself to sit down.
"So how have you been?" The Doctor said as he turned to me with a clipboard resting upon his knees. Those words ran right off his tongue, and sounded as if he's it a few times during the day.
"I'm good, and you?" I asked, trying to be as polite as can be, hoping it would distract him from my nervous fingers playing with each other.
"Just glad it's Friday..." He began to say, as I lost attention and gazed around the room. Snapshots of happy family's covered the small walls, along with a poster explaining and illustrating what is safe to have in your purse, and what is hazardous. It caught more of my attention, but it didn't matter since the conversation to me had turned to my mother.
I snapped out of my concentration on the poster as I heard his voice become directed toward me.
"Alright, so just like normal, I'm going to have you lay down and I'll listen to your heart..." I scooted back on the chair, and began to lay down. As soon as my back touched the chair, it hit me. I hate doctor's offices, I thought.
"I'm just going to listen to your chest, and stomach. Then you'll sit up and I'll have you take four deep breathes through your mouth." I cooperated, of course, and did what I was told. The stethoscope hit my chest, and I felt like I was very focused on my breathing. How do I do this everyday without thinking about it? I thought again.
"Everything sounds great." He explained. Yet another phrase he must say too often. "Now we're just gonna draw some blood, and you'll be on your way."
It took me a minute for it to register.
"Wait," my attention quickly shifted from the Doctor's face to my moms. "Draw my blood?" My body stiffened as I felt my body grow with anticipation and oversensitiveness.
"Yeah, it's a procedure we do now to check up on your kidneys and make sure things are going on okay inside your body." I didn't care, you're not touching me with any needle. I thought.
"Can we just... Not do that?" Shivers sent down my cold body.
My mom went on explaining a situation at my Dentist's office that I will never live down. He laughed. I didn't.
"We have a girl here that does this everyday, and is very great at her jo..." I stopped him mid sentence.
"I'm sure she's great at her job, but that doesn't change my mind." I explained. I don't know if he knew the situation until the story my mom informed him on about the Dentist's office, I'm deathly afraid of needles.
His eyes wandered over to my mom sitting in the corner with a little chair built in.
"You could always come back next week if that will be better?" He said, annoyingly.
"No, we're here now, so let's just get it over with." Her eyes locked on mine, I felt as if she was hinting at me to man up.
My body sank into my chair, there was no way I was getting out of doing this. I was stuck between a doctor and a mom. There's really no way out, is there?
As the Doctor heard what my mom had said to me, he lifted off his seat, I think he got the hint my mom was dropping toward me.
"I'll go grab her and we'll be done in a flash." He said in an overwhelmingly optimistic voice.
As the door quietly made a click behind him, it came. I knew it was coming.
"Mom, I really don't want to do this, please don't make me." My eyes swelled with tears.
She continued to explain to me how I always over think things, and afterward how it really isn't that big of a deal. She was right, but still. I didn't want this, no way.
The girl came in and set a few instruments on the table to my right, that's when I lost it. Salty water ran down my cheek, I just looked down.
"Honey, you're going to be just fine. Do you want a pillow and you can lay down while I do it? I can get you a drink too?"
I declined, yet she insisted on the pillow. The room was only occupied by my mom and I once again.
I continued to plead for mercy. My mom flat out said no, again. DARN! I thought. I'm REALLY not getting out of this... My chest was pounding.
"Alright here ya go," she said as she walked back into the room with a pillow under her arm. Behind her was the Doctor, I think he just wanted to watch me cry some more. How embarrassing. She calmly put the pillow under my head, I rested looking at the ceiling. YOU'RE KIDDING ME. I thought.
She walked over to my non dominant arm, which is my left, and started to prep it. I had my mom come to the right of me so I could just have her distract me.
"She's just gonna do a couple things first, but she doesn't have the needle yet. We won't tell you that. Or do you want us too?" The Doctor explained and I didn't respond. "You're doing really good, just don't  flinch."
Mom said the girl was a little shaky, she thinks I made her nervous because she thought I was gonna flinch and she would do it wrong. I trusted her.
As she held my arm with hers, I felt her cold breath hitting my medial epicondyle. Hoping it would help dry the numbing cream faster.
My moms hand brushed the side of my cheek demanding my head to turn towards her, she held it there.
"Tell her about all of those scholarships you've been applying for..." My mom began to distract me, but of course that wasn't going to do anything. My mind was only focused on one thing. I pulled my head away from her and looked straight up at the ceiling.
"What?" I asked feverishly.
She repeated herself, the words fell off her lips calmly trying to comfort me. 
"Yeah, how is school going?" I heard through my left ear, she was trying to distract me also.
"What?" I asked again, confused. It was like I couldn't think of anything else expect the needle going to be jabbed into my arm. I couldn't even put a sentence together in my head.
I felt a pinprick in my arm, and something sliding slowly deeper into my skin. I closed my eyes, and counted in my head.
"Guess what?" Said my Doctor.
I didn't reply.
"Taylor, guess what?" He repeated.
I opened my eyes slowly, the pain had decreased in my arm.
"Taylor, guess what? You're finished." Those words were like heaven.
I smiled and looked at my mom.
"I'm really proud babe, now you can say you've gotten your blood taken. How awesome?"
"Yeah, I guess. It wasn't too bad." I said under my breath.
My mom is always right.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

feel the fat.

I've been exercising on a regular freaking basis. oh yes I have. 
It feels so much better! I'm not really that tired anymore!
I wanna be in shape, for SUMMER.
Maybe I'll become tan and flaunt my legs for once in my life.
I want SUMMER holy freaking cow.

And I need to start tanning, so sun, hurry up mmmk?
Reach out, and give us all some sun. We all need it.
It's the one thing I want to change, the weather.
I went running tonight with my pup, and stopped in the middle of the dim lit road.
I stood there, trusting my soul to the world.
The rain was sprinkling on the lenses of my glasses, I didn't care.
I opened my mouth, and let my tongue hang out. 
I love feeling that way, carefree.
I opened my eyes and looked up at that distance in the sky.
What is up there? Why am I here?
Frank stretched his front paws up to my knees, and looked at me with an eager expression.
I started to run again, and he ran by my side
and for that moment;
I experienced bliss.
I love life.
This curious, short, eager, contagious, opinionated life.
I really do.